Week 10 Story: A Crafty Salesman
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| Jordan Belfort: Source |
As 2022 slowly comes to a close, a man named Jordan finally got his dream job at the sales company GrandEx in New York City. Jordan was a very prestigious Harvard graduate and felt he was the best salesman no matter the circumstances. It was Jordan's first day at GrandEx and he already felt the competitive spirit in the air.
As he sat down he noticed an older looking man who was eying him down and smirking in a condescending way. Jordan began to talk with the man and a friendly conversation quickly turned a little hostile. Jordan decided to challenge the man to see who was the better salesman. They placed a wager and decided that if one of them couldn't get a sale on their first try then they had to quit.
Jordan's competitor naturally stated that he would go first. He made the call and easily closed a sale as if it was habit; which it was. Jordan picked up his phone and made his first call ever with the company. From the start, it seemed as if the client was going to bite; however, Jordan began to have doubts. Despite his amazing sales skills, Jordan was not able to close the sale.
Jordan's competitor laughed at him, exclaiming how you should never challenge a veteran. Jordan was in a bind, but he looked around and noticed that no one else had been listening to their conversation. As the boss approached to welcome Jordan on his first day, his competitor told their boss that Jordan was just packing his things to leave. Jordan looked at him with a smirk and turned around to the boss. Jordan told the boss that he felt like the older employee was pestering him because he was the new guy. Jordan's competitor tried to explain himself, but the boss told Jordan to move to the other side of the office so he wouldn't be bothered.
Jordan scurried away with his things and plopped down in his (even newer) desk. Jordan felt that he had succeeded as he dodged the first of many tricky sales man tricks.
Authors Note: The original story is The Rabbit Goes Duck Hunting. In the story, a rabbit and an otter have a duck eating contest. The rabbit becomes cocky and gets carried away and stuck into a tree. Eventually, he hears children playing and the children's father rescues him, but he immediately runs away. I wanted to create a modern story, plus I didn't necessarily like the original story much. That being said, I made major changes to the plot and basically changed the entire story.
Hey, Garrett!
ReplyDeleteI really like this story! Even though I haven't read the original (which you say is not too much like your version), I found yours extremely engaging! What was that old guy's problem, anyway? I was really worried that the guy would be fired on his first day but he kind of outsmarted the competitor and lived to sell another day! The original sounds interesting from what you say in your author's note, so I may have to give that one a read, too! Great work!
Hey Garrett,
ReplyDeleteYou say you “basically changed the entire story,” but you still did get the original point across, which is that a trickster will always wiggle out of a situation! When reading it I thought that Jordan was going to be forced to quit his job on his first day; that little twist at the end was very nice! I’m curious, what made you decide to have the story take place in 2022? Apart from the mention of the year, nothing about the story seems futuristic, so I’m curious about what made you include that.
Hey Garrett,
ReplyDeleteSweet picture dude. Having Leo there at the top sort of primed me for the rest of the story. I wish more authors would use that tactic. That's a great way to help the reader with connecting to the story and the characters therein. And in regards to the rest of your story, you made a great modern adaptation. Great job, and continue to explore your writing abilities!
-Lance J.